are either married or in relationships: Please hear us out!
Last week I had an appointment with the Orthodontist I’ve been seeing
since January, and it was the first time I’d seen him in just over a month. As
he approached me I greeted him with a smile and we chatted for a few minutes to
catch up. Suddenly, he became very serious and said to me, “Well, we’ve all just
been so worried about you…” Puzzled, I began to wonder if he was possibly
confusing me with another patient because surely there was no reason for him to
worry about me. I grinned and quizzically asked him, “Why is that?” He looked at
me, with the same troubled expression on his face and explained, “Well… we just
all really want you to find a husband.”
Wow! That was NOT the answer I was expecting! I laughed it
off and let him know that it will happen someday if it’s meant to, but that I’m
certainly not losing any sleep over it. We carried on for a few minutes, and
shortly thereafter he let me know that he would set me up with his son but that
he might be a little young for me. After a consultation about the real reason I
was there (my teeth—which he seemed to have forgotten about) he let me know that
I was a great catch, and that I will find a man who thinks so. The only problem
was: I wasn’t worried in the first place! Aside from the shock and
slight offense of his comment, I actually found it quite comical and honestly
even a tiny bit endearing that he cared about my personal life. But then it made
me think: Why do people feel sorry for single people? I’ve found this
to be much more prominent regarding single girls. There is this crazy fallacy
out there that single girls over a certain age are pathetic and /or
depressed, simply waiting around for a man to save them from their rather boring
and uneventful lives. I couldn’t find this to be further from my personal truth
right now. I spent the past year single (*gasp*…yes, I said it) and the
personal growth I’ve seen has been immeasurable. Now, do I want to spend the
rest of my life alone? No, not necessarily. But does that mean getting married
is all I think about? No way. I have a life to live, and I’m sure as heck not
going to waste it waiting around for anyone! I’m using my time and independence
that I have at this point in my life to focus on what’s important to me: my
relationships, my faith, getting involved in my community, and spending my time
and energy on the things I enjoy! So please, please,
please do not feel sorry for single girls! They do not need your
pity, your help, or your advice (unless asked for). If they are not worried,
there is no reason for you to be. God’s plan is not contingent on your idea of a
timeline; his timeline is perfect and worthy of waiting for.
I truly believe you need to be happy alone before you can be happy in a
relationship. Now, we all know there’s a difference between happiness and joy.
Joy has one source, and it does not stem from men but from Christ alone. So to
my single friends out there, please do not look to a man, or a marriage, or a
family as the end-all, be-all, because you will fall short time after time. It’s
important that we learn how to be happy alone, content in our circumstances,
before we try to pursue a relationship. It’s easy for anyone to fall for the
temptation of “If I just had _____, I would be happy.” Fill that in with
whatever you want—a husband, a baby, more money, whatever you feel like you are
“lacking”. The truth is that we are always reaching for something more.
It’s important to stop worrying about that “something more” on the horizon. Let
it happen. It’s taken me the whole year to really focus on and pray for peace
and contentment in all aspects of my life, but it is such a relief to let go of
the pressure of everyone around me and to focus on what makes me happy NOW!
With that being said, I can’t wait to share with you what I have been pouring
my heart into over the past year. I am very proud to announce that I am starting
a (very small) business venture, and am hopeful to launch a website displaying
my designs by summertime! God has truly blessed me with a special gift of
creativity (and painstaking meticulousness) that has helped me craft some items
I am so proud to share! I am very excited for this opportunity to do what I
enjoy and ready to share my heart with others! Stay tuned