Six years ago, my three sisters and I stood in front of a few hundred people to share eulogies we prepared for our father’s funeral. My youngest sister, Maddy, was only fifteen at the time and stood in solidarity with us instead of speaking. It’s been a few years since I found this written eulogy that my dad prepared for his own father, but like Maddy he choose to put his thoughts together privately once he was able to process them. To give a little background prior to reading: The Fleming Family was comprised of Tooke and Kathleen and their three children, Tim (my dad), Todd, and Tammi. Dad’s mom, Kathleen, passed away suddenly in 1980 from a brain aneurysm. Eight years later, his father experienced a stroke that resulted in a serious fall and a broken neck. Due to paralysis he spent the next few years between the VA hospital and then a nursing home. During this time, my dad made the difficult decision to move his own family (my mom, Mallory, and I) from Texas to Virginia for a job opportunity. In 1993, his dad passed away unexpectedly while being transferred to the VA hospital for a check up when the ambulance driver fell asleep at the wheel. All this to say, my dad and his siblings experienced major losses and tragedies early in their lives. But how they’ve handled these tragedies has been the greatest example. I’ll let my dad’s words take over for now. What amazes me is how much his wisdom and strength live on. I would urge you to read until the end; it is a pretty powerful testimony. My Eulogy to Archie C. “Tooke” Fleming, Jr.It has been said, there is a time and place for everything. For Todd, my brother, Dad’s funeral was the time and place to articulate an uplifting and memorable eulogy. Perhaps, even more inspiring, because it is not traditionally practiced in East Texas. For me, for whatever reason or reasons, I recognized that it was not the time or the place. Only now am I able and does it seem appropriate, to share some of my thoughts that I have held, but have been unable to articulate.
Children are one of life’s most precious gifts. While I know that Dad loved Tammi, Todd, and me with all his heart, there was something special about his granddaughters. The pure joy it brought to me to be able to witness, and the obvious joy that it brought to Dad as well as the girls were at times, simply overwhelming. Over the past four years, wen we couldn’t be with him in person, he would love for us to call, just to tell him the latest thing the girls had done or what they had said. It always gave him the biggest smile! It meant so much, to each of us, that we could share the experience with each other, big or small. I always enjoyed asking Dad for advice. It didn’t matter whether it was about cooking, “the Medic’s” remedies, politics, work, or the girls, I just enjoyed asking him. The answers at times were irrelevant, because we would be looking for the chance to get in the latest quip or joke about the subject, but Dad always had an answer for me. I can truly say today that my confidence and my strength are a mere reflection of what I saw in my Dad. Somehow, over the last couple of days, I can just see him looking down smiling at me, as I try to begin to answer the myriad of questions from Mallory and Megan, just as he was there for me. For Megan, it began with “Daddy, why did your Mommy and Daddy both have to die?” to be followed later with “Daddy, was PaPa just old and it was just time for him to die?” For Mallory it was “Daddy, will PaPa’s neck be all better in heaven?” With me, among man others, it was “Who’s going to help me with the fatherly advice for these girls?” Well Dad, just for the record, I am still going to be looking to you for advice... just keep your good ear turned my way. As I reflect back, and attempt to put things into perspective, it occurs to me that Tammi, Todd, and I have been exposed to some incredible experiences. While I am not a philosopher, it is becoming more and more clear that these experiences have brought with them, very difficult yet powerful lessons. In 1980, when Mom died, I think we began to learn something of the meaning of death. The flood of emotions associated with the shock, the pain, the grief, the emptiness and the seemingly insensitive reality that the rest of life goes on. It was all so vivid, so draining. We did not know, nor could we know then, but I think each of us has come to realize that this was only a prepatory event. We would come to experience death, and attempt to deal with the loss, several more times with both family and friends over the next thirteen years. But there is a contrasting side to death and in 1989, when Dad suffered his accident, I think we really began to learn more of the meaning of life. Witnessing Dad’s courage and will to fight gave us a new strength. Seeing his pain and suffering gave us a deeper compassion. It was then that we began to come to know Dad as an adult, rather than a father. I also think it was then that we came to know and love each other more completely. We not only could but would tell each other that we loved each other. We would not take for granted nor would we miss an opportunity to tell Dad as well as each other how we felt. It is hard to explain, much less understand, that in some ways we had lost so much; yet how much more we had gained. Dad was a man of very few words, but full of action. At Christmas, Dad would spend hours upon hours shelling pecans to give away in his Christmas coffee cans. I can remember how he would go before and after work if someone needed a haircut at the hospital or even at the funeral home. Many of you know what a good cook Dad was. But it wasn’t enough for him to cook a great meal for us. I remember how he would always cook extra, just so he could send food back with each of us. Yet one of the most impressive actions that I will remember is how diligently he visited the sick. I will remember my Dad as a man of commitment and a man of action. A friend recently reminded me that fruit never falls far from the tree. I certainly hope that the seeds of his fruit will not only be evident but will flourish abundantly in each of us, his children. I’m not sure that I can answer Megan’s question today, but I am so glad that she asked. Candidly, it is so hard for me not to be selfish and not to ask why did I have to lose my Dad...my friend... like this. But I do know that I must rely on faith and prayer, and I must also teach my children to do the same. Dad, my friend, we will miss you terribly! As I always have, I will summon my strength from the lessons that you have taught me. Thank you for those lessons! In closing, I have to thank Mallory for her question about PaPa’s neck. It let me to Luke 5:23-24 “Which is easier: to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up and walk’? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins... He said to the paralyzed man, ‘I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.” Dad, I’ll see you and mom there someday. I love you! Timothy Tooke Fleming September 1, 1993 In order to live in the victory, you have to celebrate the victories!!! This weekend we busted out cupcakes and confetti to celebrate FOUR years of faithfully sharing my writing on the little space I call my blog. What's the victory? For me, that's FOUR years of obedience. Four years of honoring the gift I was given. Four years of vulnerability and humility and boldness. Four years of preparation and sowing and learning to live in the blessing even when life is HARD. If you don't celebrate your victories, big or small, you're missing out on an opportunity for thanksgiving and recognizing the abundance in areas that might otherwise seem lacking. Find a reason to celebrate today!
Something about this blog has really resonated with people. I'm not sure if it's the vulnerability or the humility. Maybe it's something entirely different. But it's been a source of relatability for many, and other such an encouragement. Honestly, I'll keep posting whether there are four or four hundred views because that's where my heart is. Here's to continuing to celebrate the victories. I'm not celebrating myself. I'm celebrating my God! One thing I hope you’ve recognized by now is that I don’t like to sugarcoat my blogs. I try to keep them true to life-- the good, the bad, and the in between. I won’t paint a picture of a perfect vacation without struggle/conflict, because that wouldn’t be real life. On vacation, we take baggage along with us, both physically and metaphorically (except for that one time American wouldn’t check my bag). This time we had some unresolved conflict upon arrival, and although the first night was great, I’d be lying to say that I didn’t struggle with my emotions. The bottom line is that regardless of where you are, loved ones can still be sick, relationships can be wounded, and struggles still exist-- life doesn’t have a pause button. We know that.
One of my biggest issues with conflict is that there are generally two unhealthy responses that beg for my attention: to camp out or lash out. Camping out is a state where your mind and emotions are so consumed by your problem that they occupy your time and steal your attention and joy. As a woman, this is is an easy place to find myself: overthinking, overanalyzing, and remaining stuck. Lashing out is the equally destructive manifestation of pain and anger, generally directed towards the source of conflict. Instead of getting angry, I generally get hurt. I’m much better about self control (out of those two options) when it comes to biting my tongue. But unfortunately for me, the lashing out aspect is oftentimes indirect: I won't respond to the person who hurt me, but after it festers for long enough I’ll find myself snapping at my husband or losing my patience at another source. If you can’t believe I’m admitting that, believe me, I’m not proud of it. But it’s so often the truth. My marriage suffers unfair consequences when conflict is unresolved unless we pinpoint the problem, and actively seek resolution together. For this reason, my husband proactively asked me to surrender my problems to God, to not stay stuck and let it ruin our trip (either directly or indirectly). He prayed over me, I prayed over myself, and we spoke against anything that wasn’t of God. Another real life moment: for me, surrendering a problem isn’t generally a one and done type deal-- it’s a daily decision, sometimes a moment by moment decision, and often involves prayer and correction. But I agreed to surrender anything that was weighing down my spirit, and actively refuse to camp out moving forward. The next day was Sunday and we went with Ashley and Christa to Westide: A Jesus Church. Here’s the admittance of a deeply flawed and broken person: Prior to church, I still felt unsettled. Uncertain. Conflicted. Concerned. Yet hopeful. The worship team played, and I felt a stirring in my spirit as we sang out The Lion and The Lamb. As we declared “He’s roaring with power and fighting our battles” I felt an amazing peace and revelation sweep over me. Yes. He’s fighting my battles. And He’s also fighting the battles of the people we are in conflict with. God cares about our hearts, and the hearts of others equally. He can bring resolution to anyone willing to surrender. And in this moment of time, where anything had the ability to feel overwhelming and scary and unknown, I felt a peace sweep over and embrace me. In a moment where I felt broken and defeated, rejected and condemned, God stepped in and said that His grace was sufficient for me. THAT’S the gospel. That’s the good news. In my moments of despair and doubt, God says to trust Him and be still because the victory was already won through what Jesus did on our behalf. We don’t have to live camped out or lashing out. We’ve already been set free. I wrapped my arms around Delyn’s and whispered in his ear, “Do you feel that peace, too?”. He nodded. “I’m trying not to get emotional”, he admitted. He placed his arm across my shoulder and leaned his forehead to mine, as he shared with me a vision he received from the Spirit. And with my palms facing heaven, I nodded in agreement. We soaked in those next few moments of worship, pouring out praise and thanksgiving for His faithfulness and peace. The message was perfectly purposed; it was about leaving peaceably with others in a time of division and conflict and injustice. It was so pertinent because it could be applied practically all the way from personal relationships to a community level to a national application. Based on Ephesians 2, Dominic discussed a new humanity addressed by Paul in the first century church. In a time where the people were struggling desperately with unity, it was recognized that Jesus’ sacrificial love was what had the power to overcome the world. He reminded us that “the cross is the great equalizer. The ground is level at the foot of the cross.” The cross not only reconciled us to God, but reconciled us to one another in what Paul referred to as the new humanity. He further urged us to consider who we needed to reconcile with, and how to practically live in peace with one another. It’s so easy for us to blame others, judge them, criticize or discredit them, but we can’t do that. Because if we’re not working towards reconciliation and resolution in a self-sacrificing manner then we’re not moving towards redemption. Our gospel is one of reconciliation and hope. I want to live that way. Not just talk about it. But how? Luckily Dominic talked about practical ways of preaching peace and promoting unity, and urged us that it is “coming alongside of someone who’s hurting, it’s listening to people you may have a difference of opinion with... and loving them, sharing hospitality, serving people who are hurting or are on the fringe”. We’re all hurting, broken, and flawed, but love can bring mending and peace. On the plane to Portland, I read Judah Smith’s new book How’s Your Soul?. Perhaps the most highlighted chapter in my ebook was the one about love. Smith poses, “It’s easy to love those who love you... But it takes a divine love, a supernatural love to love those who do not love us back. Yet that’s the only kind of love that will change the world. And it’s the only kind of love that will bring lasting satisfaction and health to our souls” (pg. 87). Based on 1 Cor. 13:7, he then explains how “Paul says that all the time and in every situation, love does these four things: bears, believes, hopes, and endures” (pg. 87). His explanation and application of these four things humbled me so deeply. See for yourself, but I found lots of room for growth and improvement. 1. Bear- “Paul was telling the Corinthian believers that love is a roof and cover... This doesn’t mean we ignore sin; it means we don’t use people’s faults and failures to expose or shame them. We publicly cover them and privately restore them with the goal of bringing about health in their lives” (pg. 88). Gossip, accusations, judgment, shaming, condemnation. Jesus did not give up his life for you and me to spend our time on these things. And sometimes Christians are labelled hypocrites because of these very things. But please hear me in that it is not how the church is supposed to be. We have to be the difference makers; we have to be the peacemakers to set this right. I can certainly think of times in my life where I could have covered someone better in love, whether it be by not allowing gossip, by not accusing someone publicly, or by not embarrassing them whether directly or indirectly. Some things may be big, and some may be small... but the first step is for us to acknowledge that there are times where loving means protecting for healing to come. 2. Believe- “Love looks for the best. It doesn’t mean you don’t see the worst; it just means that even in the middle of the worst time of someone’s life, you remember the best, celebrate the best, remind that person of the best, and believe the best” (pg. 99). I need to work on this one too. I’m so much better at believing the best about the people I am closest with than those that I am not, because I know their hearts. But this one tells us to believe the best about the hearts of everyone. This one forces us to bury our pride. And it allows us to move past camping out or lashing out so we can let go. This provides freedom for our souls. 3. Hope- “Love holds on to eventual developments. Love recognizes that where we are is not where we will always be. We are on a journey. We are works in progress. Love needs hope because we all have a long way to go” (Pg. 102?). I think this goes hand in hand with grace. I think about the places I used to be and I’m so thankful for God’s grace and for people around me who see me as I am, and who God has called me to be. They don’t “label or limit” me based on any part of my journey. 4. Endures- To endure means “you don’t retaliate or reject...” He explains that “if we are more motivated and saturated with God’s love, there is no limit to what we can endure. There is no breaking point, because no matter what happens, God’s love is bigger” (pg. 94). I’ve had many enduring days where I audibly admit “I just don’t know how much more I can take”. And yet, when I read this chapter, and put the crucifixion and resurrection in to the context of the most enduring application of love that exists, I remember that this is my purpose. This is why I’ve been anointed and equipped with grace-- to extend it without ceasing. Not to let my pride take over, to standup for myself, or to throw in the towel. But to endure. I’ll continue to suffer along the way, but the bigger focal point needs to be to suffer well-- to change my responses to the things that are out of my control. To surrender. Because “an effective life is first and foremost a surrendered life” (pg. 128). Sometimes it’s hard to surrender. It takes everything we have, and it turn it allows the Spirit room to work. This trip was the best week of our whole year, because it was a week focused on true surrender, and the peace that God provided for the simple (but difficult!) faithfulness required to do so. I wish I could adequately express the peace and favor we found in Yahweh’s faithfulness, but I can assure you that this kind of peace is available to every single reader. He reminded us in the most beautiful and redemptive ways of His love for us and His plans. As we drove to the coast early Monday morning, the most majestic rainbow you could imagine appeared above the Oregon mountains and trees. I reached behind my seat to grab my husband’s hand. A double rainbow. A physical manifestation of the spiritual promises, now and forever. Thanksgiving overflowed deep within my soul. God’s promises shined brighter than any of our problems. And in return for this, God simply wants us to live peacefully and love unceasingly-- a daily decision we are all given. Lacie,
Over the last few months I’ve witnessed our relationship deepen from sister-in-laws to one of fully embraced sisters. Today, you move away from your family, your friends, your job of four years, and your church home. But you’re stepping in to so much more. We’ve seen you grow in undeniable ways, witnessed your faith become your own, and praised God for the woman who is heading to Nashville knowing her worth in Him. Selfishly, we’re so sad to see you go. I’ve already gotten a phone call from your big brother, as reality is sinking in (and you only just started your drive). But we’ve been two of your biggest champions as you have faithfully prepared for this adventure, and we’re expectant of continued growth and blessings over you. I am so glad that we had the chance to become so much closer before you left, because although it was more difficult to say goodbye, we know that this connection will overcome the distance. Older sisters are full of advice: sometimes it is warranted, sometimes it is invited, and at times it might be unwelcome (just ask my other sisters), but it is ALWAYS out of love. Here’s my advice to you, as you journey to Nashville, in expectation of all the glory that God has in store for you. 1. Get To Know The City- This is the city you've dreamed of! Get out there, and enjoy it. Find out which coffee shop has the best lattes. Search for a park with a great walking trail. Learn which movie theater has the cheapest movies, and which venues have the best live music. Find out who has the best burger, and where to have brunch with your girlfriends. You’ll not only become the best tour guide when your friends and family come to visit, but more importantly, you’ll automatically become more immersed in the culture of your city and you’ll feel a connection to the places you frequent. 2. Don’t Be Afraid of Being Alone- I can’t even tell you the number of times I’ve been to a movie theater or a restaurant alone. Get comfortable being alone. Coffee shops are great places to sit and read or write and still be surrounded by people. Don’t just sit at your apartment alone all the time. Get out and do something! You won’t regret it. Friends will come. Relationships will develop. But you ALWAYS need to be comfortable when it’s just you. 3. Find A Community- You are where you are today largely because of the community you are a part of. Attending church regularly and joining a Life Group really grounded you and helped with accountability, wisdom, and growth. Make it a priority to find a church where you feel comfortable and connected. If that means sitting by yourself for a few Sundays, that is a-okay! Look for another life group you can join. Or a young professionals group. Remember, most people your age are looking for friends. You just have to find them! 4. The Breakthrough Will Always Come- Remember what a hard time I had in Arkansas last year? I think I told you that I couldn’t have bought friends at that time. And lately I’ve been amazed by the relationships around me. Remember that the breakthrough will always come. It might take longer than you’d like for it to, but don’t give up because it will be so worth it! 5. Embrace Your Twenties- My early and mid twenties were my best years for growth. Don’t ever feel pressured to find a man, get married, or start a family— there is PLENTY of time for that down the road. For now, embrace this time of singleness. Fill your time with things that will make you better! Read. Volunteer. Have girls nights. Learn to cook new meals. Pick up a new hobby. Get in the best shape you’ve ever been in. Set goals. This is the most free time you’ll have— spend it wisely! 6. Check In With Your Family- We want you to have fun, but don’t forget to check in with everyone. Your mom, your dad, your Granny, and your brother (among many others) are going to have a hard time with you being so far away. It will be an adjustment, but if we all put in the effort it will be a smooth one. FaceTime us. Invite us to visit when you’re ready. Let us know what’s going on in your life. Because you better believe we’ll be reaching out to you! Relationships are two sided— remember: WE ALL have to put in the effort as well… it is not up to you to sustain every relationship alone! 7. Set Your Priorities and Goals- Jobs and money are necessary, but they aren’t everything. Decide what is important to you and structure your life around that. Your brother is a great example of that. Budget well. Keep saving. Spend smart. Don’t feel pressured to move into a super nice apartment or have fancy things— this is for YOU, not to impress anyone else. If you can stay true to what is important to you, you will avoid a lot of the easy pitfalls of spending time and money in places that won’t satisfy you. 8. Don’t Date Losers- Your brother would probably say not to date anyone at all. But I’d just recommend that you only date people who recognize your worth. You know who you are. You know who you’re called to be. Only let people into your life who will bring value to it. That applies to friendships too! 9. Remember That Your Time Is Valuable- Don’t waste it! Get out there and do things that make you happy. Don’t spend all your time working (or babysitting). You have the ability to say no when you don’t have time for things, to not overcommit, and to choose where you want to spend your time. Where you spend your time is where you place your value on things! 10. Don’t Feel Guilty for Following Your Dreams- This is your adventure. We all support you! Stay in Nashville for as long (or as little) as you’d like. This isn’t a time for you to prove anything to anyone, it’s just a time for you to grow and embrace the adventure. You’ve already taken the biggest step. Now it’s time to work towards finding what intersections, connections, and relationships that God has for you. You are on this adventure because YOU chose it! You don’t have to have it all figured out. We’re proud of you for being brave enough to step out into the unknown. WE LOVE YOU! Most people plan a fancy dinner for their first wedding anniversary. We planned a photo shoot with Miles and Max. I’ve been wanting to take some photos at our wedding venue, just because it is such a special place to me. We went all out-- it was full of glitz and glamour-- everything from a sparkly dress that I rented down to some bubbly (okay... Martinelli). I’d been in a bit of a body image funk, coming out of MONTHS of intense workouts and not seeing as much progress as expected. So when the dress arrived a little snug, I was a bit down on myself. Thankfully, I arranged for a local stylist (Olivia Yeager) to do my hair and makeup that morning and I’m not kidding she boosted my confidence back up. Well, that, and the look on my husband’s face when he saw me. Somehow the girl makes you feel like Beyonce by the time you leave... I don’t know how she does it!
When we got to Fairlane Station, I was surprised to see our friend (and wedding planner extraordinaire), Amanda Reed, there with this beautiful table scape full of lovely flowers, delicate china, and my most favorite cake. Miles and Max were fully in their element; they took photos for about two hours, and gave us an amazing product of hundreds of beautiful and interesting images and perspectives. Miles actually told us that he shot the day in a more documentary type style, and that lended amazingly to this photo compilation. All of this to say, I almost wanted to cancel the whole shoot because of my insecurities leading up to that day. Delyn wouldn’t let me (thankfully). When we looked through all the photos, I was initially a little sad. I have to admit that. It had nothing to do with the photography. They did a BRILLIANT job. It was all in my head. It’s hard to see every angle, every blemish, every extra pound. But you know what? Very quickly, I realized that I had to stop beating myself up over the images I didn’t like. Instead, I flagged the ones that I did like and focused on those. And then I realized how stinking beautiful those photos were. Why do we judge things so harshly? Why do I get so hung up on things that don’t matter? I don’t need to keep looking at the photos I don’t like of myself. Instead I need to focus on the dozens of BEAUTIFUL ones. I think that’s a really important lesson, guys. How many times are we our own toughest critic? How often do we let silly emotions dictate how we value something? I’m writing this for me, but I also believe someone else out there needs to hear it. Enjoy the moments. Schedule that photo shoot. Don’t wait until you are in the best shape of your life. So you might get a handful of photos that aren’t your favorite... so what? But I promise, you’ll also get a handful of photos that blow you away. I can honestly admit that the photos I highlighted are the most flattering. And that’s okay. They make me happy. And ultimately they remind me of a really awesome day. And at the end of the day... that’s ALL that matters! Now let me brag on the creatives behind the shoot: Photography: Miles Witt Boyer + Max Grubb (Miles Witt Boyer Photographic Collective) Scene: Amanda Reed (Bates~Reed Brides) Hair and Makeup: Olivia Yeager (Dead Swanky) CAKE: Shelby Lynn's Venue: Fairlane Station Dress: Rent the Runway (SUPER impressed with the renting experience!) Our family absolutely believes in the power of words. Delyn and I intentionally promised to speak life over each other in our wedding vows; life stems from our thoughts and our words. We can build each other up or we can tear each other down. We speak life or we speak defeat and destruction. We want to be mindful of what we are creating for ourselves.
For Christmas, I created this Family Declaration for us. I thought it was the perfect timing, as we are transitioning from a difficult season into a new season-- one that we have spoken blessings, and prosperity, and favor over. We’re claiming the victory that Yahweh already established. This declaration, which hangs in our home, is a constant reminder and source of encouragement for us. Because it came to us through the Spirit (see below), it is a daily reminder of God’s promises, specifically over The Stirewalt’s. I don’t share this to brag or to sound like a weirdo or anything like that. I share it because these are God’s promises over OUR family, and I know that He has promises over YOUR family as well. We sought after ours. And it is as simple as you seeking after yours, if you haven’t already. These words can change with time, or seasons, but you can always hear what God is speaking over you if you take the time to listen. Now, when I made this-- I wanted to be sure that Delyn's voice and vision were included, but it was a gift...so I had to get a bit creative. For the most part, I knew certain phrases and declarations I wanted to include, as they have been words we have spoken and continue to speak over our family. But I also wanted to balance out the Megan-ness of the project with some Delyn-ness. So I found a family worksheet on Pinterest (~4 pages of questions about our goals and visions for our family in the future) and I asked Delyn to thoughtfully fill it out (he’s such a good sport). It was actually a really neat bonding experience, because when we sat down and read our answers aloud we were able to connect and share excitement about coming into agreement with each other and with what the Holy Spirit led each of us individually to contribute. And in pulling out thoughts and phrases combined with the revelation already wanted to include, our Family Declaration was established. In order for us to come into agreement with what God has for us, we had to consider what thoughts or mindsets that we previously had that did not line up with the Word of God. For me, that meant realizing that in the past I might have come into agreement with thoughts and ideas that God never intended for me to have. An example? Fear that maybe we wouldn’t be able to have children. The day I realized that I came into agreement with something outside of the truth, I opened my eyes to see the importance of my thoughts affecting my words and in turn affecting my life. And I had to take responsibility for those thoughts! Therefore, our family declaration speaks blessings over our family AND over future generations. I want to be bold and expectant that I believe that God will provide that desire of our hearts. I’m believing that God has a mighty plan over The Stirewalt’s, and that includes our children! Yesterday I sat down with a mentor, who challenged me (excuse the paraphrase): “God spoke the world into existence through the power of His words. That same power is in you to speak life into creation.” Yes! We speak life into creation, because we have the authority (in Christ) to do so! And likewise, we have to speak against the things that aren’t true. That same woman sat down with me, prayed life over my circusmstances and over my life, and spoke against specific words that had been spoken over me that were not true. It was powerful. Words can change the trajectory of your life. Choose them wisely! Align with the truth. Speak against the lies. And be expectant of change and prosperity! “He must increase, but I must decrease.” John 3:30 If you haven’t heard Delyn or I talk about our trip to Portland as one of the most peaceful and spiritual experiences we’ve had in a while, here’s the quick rundown. The tone was set for the trip on our first morning at Westside: A Jesus Church through worship, revelation, and a truly poignant message. We walked away challenged, refreshed, and called to action. We were reminded of God’s promises over us, and filled with hope and a much needed revival of sorts in our spirits that had previously been a bit downtrodden. Fast forward to Sunday, January 1st, 2017. On our car ride to Keypoint, Delyn told me that he had heard from Holy Spirit the night before that “We can start off our year the same way we started off our trip to Portland. This can set the tone for the year.” I smiled. As we stood for worship, my spirit stirred with the familiar chords to “The Lion and the Lamb”. I smiled again. This time I leaned into Delyn and whispered, “This is the same song that was playing in Portland.” Is it a common worship song? Sure. Do we normally sing it at KPC? Not really. Did I feel a prophetic connection in my spirit? Absolutely. God will do that. He’ll connect things and people and places in a way that remind you of the unique and personal relationship He has with you. And while that one song set the tone for a great time of worship, it paled in comparison to the tone that the sermon set for the year. We welcomed Chris Dierberger, the new Student Pastor, with excitement as we witnessed his amazing passion and perspective bring life and challenge us with his first message. Check out Keypoint Church on Facebook for the Live message. Around the 30 minute mark, he starts to dive into the life of John the Baptist. Tune in. One of the greatest examples of humility in the Bible, aside from Jesus, can be found in the records of John and the setting aside of his ministry and profession for the sake of the Savior. The message was delivered in this way: When I decrease, Jesus can increase. Each year I choose a word over the year, and while this concept had been a conviction on my heart, it wasn’t until I heard the word “decrease” that I was captivated to the point of wanting to embrace that challenge. I’ve decided to break the word down into a few categories I want to deliberately focus on decreasing. 1. PossessionsHas anyone watched The Minimalists on Netflix? Go watch it. It’s a pretty extreme lifestyle-- think the opposite of Hoarders. It’s about two men who have been “successful” in the world’s sense in their corporate lives, but never reach fulfillment. And then they decide to start scaling back. Simplifying. Getting rid of the excess. And they start to find peace and joy. They begin enjoying the little things again. And they stop worrying about the next thing. Because there will ALWAYS be the next thing to buy. They found freedom in not being chained to things. If you’re interested in a Christ Followers’ version of minimalism, check out Radical by David Platt. This was the first book I read in my early twenties that convicted me that I was living for the American Dream, a dream that didn’t line up with Jesus. The book is about abandoning everything we’re conditioned to love-- money, possessions, security, etc. for the sake of the gospel. It really helped shape my “new” world view and convict me to see what I was living for versus what I wanted to live for. All in all, this will be a year to scale down on possessions we already have, and be mindful of future purchases. I want to stop holding on to things out of regret, or guilt, or excess but focus on the concept from The Minimalist of “What adds value to your life?”. 2. SelfThis one was so well addressed in Chris’ sermon. It’s about humility. When I decrease, Jesus can increase. He mentioned that “The Kingdom of God is about stewardship, not ownership”, and that is paramount. I need to focus on John’s reminder, “A man can receive only what is given him from heaven” John 3:27. This will help me to be thankful for what God is doing in my life, and be encouraging of what He is doing in the lives of others. I want to be a champion or an encourager, and not jealous or manipulative. I think 2016 was a pretty humbling year for my husband and me. I walked away from the job world that I had known for six years to become a nanny. Based on my educational background and work history, people might assume that as a failure. But when I began to think less of myself in terms of how the world viewed my success, it opened up room for God to show me how He was working. And guess what? I started smiling again. And I found an atmosphere of friendship and respect from my employer. And I started telling happy stories about work, and the funny things and sweet things and sometimes stubborn things that the girls did that day. Lisa Terkheurst states that “The only difference between humility and humiliation is that one chose to bow low while the other tripped and fell there.” (Uninvited, pg. 108). I had to reevaluate my motives in 2016. And I want to do that again in 2017. Who am I living for? It sure better not be the world. Because the world has proven to me time and time again that it cannot give me lasting, let alone eternal satisfaction. 3. DistractionsThis looks different for everyone. For me, distractions tend to be electronic. Phones. Games. Social Media. Sure, there is a place for it. But that place cannot be dominating my life or my husbands. I want to decrease time with the distractions so that I can increase activities that bring value to my family. Reading. Writing. Creating. Talking. Playing games together (not on phones!). Face to face time. Less screen time. Which is crazy given that we’re building a business. But I believe that if we sacrifice some time on these things, God can show us that He’ll substantially or creatively bless the intentionality of it. 4. Indulgences/ExcessTo keep it short, I want to be more aware of my body. I’ve always had an issue with body image, and a weird relationship with food. This year, I’d love to see a decrease in consumption or indulgence because I realize that this has been a bit of a crutch in my life. It’s a temporary satisfaction, and it’s one that I too often turn to emotionally. I think that if I decrease the emotional crutches and redirect my attention spiritually when I am hurting then I will see a more healing and healthy effect. 5. Harmful ResponsesFear and offense are a few of the harmful responses that come to mind that I want to see decrease. I’ve really enjoyed the Life Group on Overcoming Fear that I began this fall, and look forward to what the Spring has to offer. I’m believing that this will be a huge year of spiritual growth, and I know that overcoming emotions and not being ruled by them will play an elemental role. I’m excited to see the growth that will come from dying to those emotions and giving room for the positive and glorifying emotions to flourish. All in all, I want to leave plenty of room for God to work in me in 2017. And it looks like the first step in that is admitting that I need to step aside for that to happen.
We've been waiting for the weather to drop so that we can start prepping our Portland packing list, but it turns out we just keep waiting and waiting. A few weeks ago, we got up early for a sunrise shoot and decided to bust out some flannels and beanies. If you know Delyn, this is his go-to fall/winter look. For me? Not so much. But I'm kind of embracing it right now. The day of these photos was perfectly foggy, which was unexpected but appreciated. We lasted until maybe 11AM in our hats before we took them off, rolled up our sleeves, and conceded to the fact that Arkansas simply isn't ready to let us enjoy some fall fashion.
Following our photo shoot, we grabbed a cup of coffee and headed to Fayetteville. After polling social media on the best breakfast in the area, we landed at The Farmer's Table and it was everything we hoped for (and more). My only regret was not ordering my own side of potatoes! It was both delicious and adorable-- their outside patio was adorned with crochet blankets for guests to cuddle up as they sipped their coffee and enjoyed the morning. Then we headed to Academy, because I was set on checking out their hiking gear selection. I was hesitant to spend a lot of money on hiking boots (given that we will only hike a few days), but wanted to make sure I was prepared for the weather. I found some waterproof hiking boots for $30, and grabbed some wool socks to top the purchase off. Since then, we've added backpacks, hydration packs, and rain jackets to our hiking list (in addition to LAYERS). Ashley is going to provide the snacks and first aid. I'm not much of a hiker, so preparation is key for me. I am currently keeping a running list for packing. We've been told to pack lots of layers, especially for our hiking and coast days. Ashley suggested a fleece underneath our rain jackets. Beanies, gloves, and scarves were recommended. Rain jackets are a must. Cameras are implied. HELP! What else do we need? |
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September 2018
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