In case anyone missed the first episode, here's my quick recap of 2 hours worth of drama, along with the thoughts I would assume every other viewer had as they watched this hot mess unfold. The show started with an uber-cheesey intro of new bachelor, Ben Higgins. Apparently, in the last season of The Bachelorette, he confessed his fear of being "unlovable", and now dozens of girls from across the country are week at the knees swooning at the chance to prove him wrong. I'm laughing as I write this. Mainly because I can't wrap my mind around a room full of gorgeous, social, educated, YOUNG women with (mostly) promising careers think they need to come on a dating show to find love. When did early twenties become so desperate?? But I'll choose to believe that they're just a bunch of hopeless romantics, and one of these beauties will end up with her Prince Charming ;) Don't let us down, Ben.
The producers didn't let us down with the girl's bios and intros this season. There was a chick who rode in on a hoverboard, a mini horse, someone who spoke solely Russian, and one brave soul who ditched the glamorous entrance for a onesie PJ set. Another honorable mention was the self declared "Chicken Enthusiast", which is a title I didn't know existed.
Here's a rundown of the girls who made the biggest impressions (in my opinion): Lauren B was the first out of the limo. She's an adorable, blonde flight attendant, who in her one-on-one was preciously honest and confessed to Ben how handsome she finds him. Not too deep, but they connected easily and flirted a bit. Caila, a pretty brunette from Boston, literally jumped right into Ben's arms. She weirded me out when she announced that she broke up with her ex-boyfriend the first time she saw Ben on TV, but later redeemed herself with a quick-witted one liner where she deemed Lace "fifty shades of CRA-ZY!". Samantha donned a red lace dress and announced to Ben that she just passed the bar exam, but quickly annoyed us all with a cheesy joke about "boxers or legal briefs". We all forgave her though because she had a super sweet intro video, and we like her for night one. Next came Jubilee, a total bad ass war veteran. She told a dorky pick up line and we all thought it made her even more awesome. Also, she could totally kick my butt and the girl rocked a bikini in her video.
Next came crazy Lace. She pulled her first shenanigan of the night by telling Ben to close his eyes and planting a kiss on his lips. Fast forward to less crazy but still scandalous: Leah, the event planner, stepped out of the limo in a nude colored sequin dress. She bent over, pulled up the sheer fabric, and hiked a football between her legs. We all cringed at this less than lady-like moment (simply throwing the ball would've been a better option), but we know she's fun and lighthearted and we're going to let that one slide. A girl named Joelle showed up in a tight, red dress and a unicorn mask. She took the mask off to reveal a pretty face and a spunky personality. My jaw dropped as someone emerged from the limo wearing a skin-tight white maxi dress and a red rose atop her head that was even bigger than her face. I quickly deemed her the Crazy Dentist. Que the limo doors opening and out come Emily and Mandi-- TWINS. Of course they wore coordinating black and emerald green dresses. They jinxed each other a dozen times, and left us all wondering how the poor guy would even be able to tell them apart. Then, a pretty brunette holding a basket of bread told Ben that "gluten is the devil", and I honestly stopped paying attention to her the rest of the night. A few more girls piled out, talking about how nervous they were, and I started to get bored. Jackie spiced things up by handing Ben a Save the Date for their wedding. Generally not a great way to get a guy's attention, but bravo for her bravery. And it was complete with a wedding hashtag. I was sucked back in. Then out came Olivia, in a floor length sequin gown. She looked like America's sweetheart, complete with blonde hair and a contagious smile. She said all the right things (actually, a little too right sometimes). She admitted to quitting her news anchor job to come on the show, and then I was rooting for her even though I knew the girl could probably land another job instantly and didn't need America's sympathy.
Once the girls arrived, Ben attempted to welcome them but was quickly cut off by the crazy dentist who rushed him away to give him an oral exam (really). The doctor determined that he needed to floss more, but was "totally kissable". Where did these girls learn to flirt?? This is painfully awkward. As the girls continued to mingle and sip on wine, Chris Harrison welcomed a final limo with two more women: Amber and Becca (from previous seasons). Apparently I missed something because this sent the girls into a full blown panic. I was confused why anyone would go on The Bachelor TWICE, but: do your thing girls... They seemed cute and sweet, and quickly became the target of all gossip and envy. Bring on lots of whining and insecurities. And Lace. She immeditaley went into creepy-stalker mode. Everyone else was busy wishing she would put down her wine glass and take a time out from talking. Lace stole Ben from Jubilee (watch your back, America loves Jubilee), but Jubilee took the high road. Meanwhile, Lace tried to kiss Ben for a second time, and we were all wildly relieved when Crazy Dentist stepped in to steal a second session with Ben. But Lace. Was. Pissed. Kind of hypocritical to be upset about someone swooping in, but this is Lace's world and we're all just living in it.
Next up, it's time for the first impression rose, and Ben gives it to Olivia. I thought she was a great pick. And to nobody's surprise, Lace was pissed again (this time it was because Ben didn't make eye contact with her during the group conversation). The rose ceremony couldn't come soon enough. Ben handed out roses, and with a handful of normal girls remaining he saved the last two for the craziest of the bunch-- Mandi and ace. Eyeroll. Thanks, producers, for keeping this crop of crazies. After Ben says goodbye to the girls he sent packing, the show wraps with Lace confronting Ben about not paying attention to her during the ceremony. You dug your own grave on this one, bud. Maybe next time you'll save your roses for girls who don't show their crazy on night one. But we know the next episode is bound to be just as entertaining (and drama filled) with the cast stacked. CHEERS to plenty more memorable moments. Oh yes... and to Ben finding love ;)