“To me, a lady is not frilly, flouncy, flippant, frivolous, and fluff-brained, but she is gentle, she is gracious, she is godly and she is giving. You and I have the gift of femininity… the more womanly we are, the more manly men will be and the more God is glorified. Be women, be only women, be real women in obedience to God.” –Elisabeth Elliot
This particular group of women consisted of about a dozen handpicked relatives, friends, former coworkers, bosses, and mentors I’ve looked to over the past years for advice and direction. (Side note: The group wasn’t all encompassing; there are many more amazing women in my life who have helped shape me). Some of these women are students, some are professionals, some are stay at home moms, some are working mothers, some are entrepreneurs and business owners, and some are retired. Some are single, some are dating or engaged, some are married, widowed, or divorced. Some have young children, some have fully grown children, some have grandchildren, and some hope to have children someday. The one thing these women all have in common is the faith we share. I was delighted, but not at all surprised, to see how closely their responses aligned with my expectations. See for yourself how they responded:
I think what it means to be a successful woman is to be a woman who knows herself and is true to herself. Because of this, she is free to support and champion others (especially other women or people who are marginalized) without feeling like that support will take away from her own achievements. A successful woman loves well, encourages well (another word for encourage could be disciple/ mentor in this case), and does her best every dang day- even when "her best" means just showing up. -Ashley Grant
I used to think of success in terms of how the world viewed the definition of success. Standards and guidelines set by worldly mindsets. But now my definition of success is defined by God’s Word. Proverbs 3:1-4 says, "My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you peace and prosperity. Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will find favor and success of God and man." Proverbs 30:81 says, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised”. --Tammi Berry
A successful woman is someone who loves the Lord, her family and life with everything she has. Success doesn't mean she makes a lot of money...it's more about being respectful, kind and compassionate toward others. She is somewhat independent, but enjoys having that "love" in her life to share her hopes and dreams. A successful woman is, by no means, perfect. –Kim Fleming
My perception about success evolved throughout my career. As a young professional, I often equated success with position, title and the amount of compensation received as well as accolades and awards. When I began my career in the late 70s, I felt that I must work harder, longer and more diligently than my male counterparts in order to achieve my professional goals and advance my career. I spent countless hours studying and working to reach these goals. Balancing the responsibilities of parenting and career was sometimes very challenging.
As I matured and my career evolved, my perception of success changed. I still appreciated recognition and accolades, but I began to look at career success as measured by different goals. I found that making a positive difference in the lives of others, most importantly the individuals that we served and their families, our employees and their families and the community that we served was personally and professionally rewarding. I truly believed that I was using my gifts and talents as I should. The secondary benefits of this focus brought recognition, accolades, meaningful compensation and immense satisfaction with the work I was doing. –Cindy Sill
Success to me is meeting any goal you've set for yourself. This could be a yearly goal, life goal, or even a daily goal. Sometime success for me is just to shower! I think success looks different for everyone, as we all have different goals and visions in our mind that are equivalent to succeeding. –Christina Hobbs
She is strong in her mind. Knows when to push and when to encourage. This applies to family and herself. She is forgiving, honest and knows how to fail. A successful woman fails to learn, and learns to love her failures as they teach and make her successful. I am a successful woman because I try with each relationship; God, spouse, children, family, career and friends. I Balance these in Harmony for myself, that’s what makes her successful. My order and not anyone's else's. Successful women look at the big picture to see progress but know that the little pictures are what matters and each small success, as they come, contribute to the big picture. And throughout it all, I love. –Katie Flowers
I feel like for me, being a successful woman means having the faith to push through and do what God needs you to do! That looks like working for some, a stay at home mom for some, moving away as a missionary for others...I think the thing all successful women have in common though is loving everyone the best they can! “Three things will last forever--faith, hope, and love--and the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:13 NLT) – Christina Brooks
A successful woman has a vision for her life. She doesn't depend on anyone except the Lord. She shows compassion for others and has a heart for serving, but she takes care of herself too. She knows when to take charge and when to ask for help. She isn't afraid to chase after her dreams. She is resilient. She will not give up on herself or anyone else. She sees the best in everyone and seeks to encourage their strengths. She is confident and humble. She trusts in the Lord's plan and surrenders her life to him. –Meredith Fleming
Something that is extremely encouraging to me, and I hope it will be to you as well, is the idea that our conceptions and ideals are so strongly influenced by the people we chose to surround ourselves with. For me, this is an incredible reminder that I have surrounded myself with strong and successful women, because their responses lined up with my own beliefs and many included scriptural reference, requests for time to pray over their answers, and questions for clarification on if I was referring to worldly success or kingdom success. Wow. These are the kind of women I need around me. And I hope these are the kind of women you are surrounding yourself with. At the end of the day, this is the kind of woman I hope to be to others. One that is secure in my faith and worth, despite what the world tells me, and one that can encourage, respect, and unite other women.
Despite your definition of a successful woman, I challenge you to walk away from this blog with one thought to consider: you have a daily choice on how you treat the women around you. This applies to your personal life and your career. Will you be an encourager or will you be apathetic? When you meet someone new, will you embrace them or will you carry on with life? When you see someone struggle, will you build them up or will you assume that someone else will? Try to remember in your everyday interactions that all women have different desires and definitions when it comes to accomplishments, but one thing we all share is the ability to humbly walk alongside one another and encourage them to strive for their own definition of success.
How do the people closest to you define success? Here is an accumulation of the responses of some of my closest supporters, and I personally think it’s pretty great: