There are lots of people out there who are hurting today… children and adults who have lost their fathers, fathers who have lost a child, people who have been abandoned or abused by their fathers, people who can’t spend the day with their father because he’s too far away. Maybe he’s absent. Maybe he’s imprisoned. Maybe he’s battling an addiction. Maybe he’s sick. Maybe he was never a part of your life. Maybe he took his own life.There are wives who are struggling because they desperately want to see their husband become a father. They’ve been let down, and feel hopeless at times. There are mothers who are hurting to see their children deal with the fallout of the marriage that was shattered by divorce or infidelity. There are mothers who are pained to see the impact that the absence of the father of their children had on their kid’s lives. They see the patterns of destructive behavior caused by an absent leader. People are hurting. On a day when we see social media plastered with photos of fathers being honored and cherished— sweet words, pretty photos, elaborate gifts, and handmade signs— we feel conflicted. We feel happy for our friends and our loved ones. We enjoy seeing the photos and rejoicing with them. But in our heart of hearts we are hurting because of the pain in our lives.
We’re hurting because God designed us with a longing for a father; it is a part of who we are. I remember the first date my husband took me on, we opened up about our families and dove into the deep stuff right off the bat. It had been three years since I lost my dad, but I never really talked about him with anyone new— my coworkers, my church family, my friends all knew my circumstances. So the first time Delyn asked my about my dad was probably one of the first times I had to verbalize the fact that he had passed away. I felt awkward at first; I hated making people uncomfortable. But Delyn surprised me… he teared up, and offered the most sincere condolence I’d ever seen. The Holy Spirit led that conversation, and I reassured him that it was okay… that I knew that my dad had always belonged to his Heavenly Father, that he never belonged to me, and that I was grateful for the time I had with him. And I meant it. I told him of the testimony my dad left behind, of the hundreds of people who witnessed my mom and my sister’s testimonies at his funeral and beyond. I knew that people were brought to Christ through his life and his death. So no, I’m not mad at God. God has the power over death. He brought victory to His Kingdom through overcoming sin and death and darkness. He conquered those things, so that we could live victorious through Christ.
And while there are moments in all my humanness that I miss my dad— that I wish he could have met my husband, that he would have walked me down the aisle, that he could be around to know his grandchildren— I trust that God is Sovereign. “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us” (Romans 8:18). More than anything, I see an incredible amount of redemption and restoration in my life and the lives of my mother and my sisters. They are joyful. They are thriving. They have a personal and enduring relationship with Jesus. I’ve learned that God can redeem ALL things. People. Relationships. Time. Life. Hope. Joy.
Whatever hurt you are feeling today, know that it is temporary. And please, please don’t be mad at God. Don’t turn away from Him in your pain. Don’t believe the lies that He is the cause of your hurt. Because I promise, that God is the only reason I have made it through days like today. I can make it through these days without my dad, because my Father in Heaven cares for me, loves me, restored me, and equipped me to do so. “He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong”” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). He can work all things together for your good (Romans 8:28), and I promise that if you invite Him into your life, you will have the opportunity to see redemption beyond belief. Your life won’t be perfect. In fact, I can tell you that the hardest day of my life occurred after the loss of my dad. But if there is pain or circumstances in your life that have not yet been restored, then God hasn't been invited into those areas of your life, or he isn’t finished working.